Fridays at Five

Happy Football Everyone.  Happy Football
- How each of the NFL teams got their names.  (MentalFloss)
- Do you bite your thumb at me, Sir Patriot of the New England? (Thought Catalog)

Post DNC and RNC, here's a quiz: www.Isidewith.com

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that the majority of movies that are better than the book are action movies. (Den of Geek)

Three of my favorites.  Ignore the David Letterman intro. 

Wordless Wednesday

Not technically wordless.  But the new Jens Lekman album, I Know What Love Isn't, is streaming at The Quietus this week. 

Maybe I should request an arranged marriage.

I found this on Arielle’s blog and can absolutely relate. I have many a day where my self-esteem plummets because the guy I was checking out on the metro didn’t look back at me. Or to put it more honestly, the guy I talked to and flirted with on a three hour flight back to DC didn’t ask for my number. And that was 4 months ago. Yet it still weighs heavy on my heart.

Why is it that my perception of my worth is so ingrained into a guy. But not just any guy, all guys. Why is it if I go out at night and don’t have a weird guy trying to grind on me it feels like a failure. And I don’t know if I even want to know what it means that I consider “a weird guy trying to grind on me” as a so called successful while talking to a guy and having him try to get my number seems so far-fetched it’s like winning free beer for a year.

And yet it is. I’ve come to believe so little in myself that any attention I get from a guy has to mean that he is just biding his time talking to me until someone hotter/funnier/shorter comes along. Why don’t I believe that if someone is talking to me then they may actually want to talk to me. This is the line that seemed to speak the most to me “I happen to think I'm smart and fun and a person that a lot of people want to be around, yet I walk around constantly feeling like garbage because I'm never the girl who needs saving from gross guys at bars and am always the friend doing the saving.” This rings so true to me. So unbelievably true. I’ve tried to do the online dating multiple times, each time thinking “ok, this is it. this is the one that will take”. And yet it never does. Am I not witty enough in my profile? Did I not put up the best pictures of me? What’s the deal here. And clearly it can’t be the guys fault in this scenario. As much as I would like to believe it is, and will say to anyone who asks as a way to hide my fears and emotions, I fully believe it has something to do with me.

PS – I think it’s amusing that most people think that being tall is what is keeping them from being in a relationship. However for me it’s the opposite. For me being tall is what is keeping me from being in a relationship. I want to feel protected and feminine and that a guy can look after me. I don’t feel that way when I can see over their head. Perhaps I shouldn’t. But I do. C’est la vie.

A Snowy Halloween

So, last night was the night where a girl can dress like a slut and get away with it.  I, however, chose to go a different route.  And as seems to be the case with most costumes that aren't a slutty this, I had to explain to a lot of people who I was.  Although most did say that they had only seen the movie once which I view as a tragedy in their lives but alas.....

It was also yet another night of going out and not really connecting with any one.  Sometimes I feel like I am so alone and disconnected from the people around me.  I just don't have the energy to try to make small talk with people I know I'm not going to see again.  (And yes, I realize that I have no way of knowing if I'm going to see someone again or not, but when you're talking to a random person at a party and they clearly would rather be elsewhere, you just have a gut feeling.)   I realize that I am not the type of person that when I first meet someone they're like "I have to hang out with her more".  I am more of a slow realization of how awesome I am.  And that's ok.  It makes me wonder if I'm also using the fact that I'm leaving as a catalyst to not bothering to meet new people.  It makes me sad because I am sure these people are all really nice but I just find it really hard to want to get to know someone if I am just going to be leaving in a few months any way.

Also, we got snow yesterday.  Snow.  On October 29.  Weird.